There's a fellow blogger whom I've learned to love, whose grasp of Scripture I truly respect. He's an old-timer, just as I am. He's even got a similar hair-do! So he must be good :)!
Whatever you do have a look at his recent blogs, the latest of which is HOW FAMILY LEADERSHIP WORKS.
Make sure you read the previous three first, in the order written, WHO'S THE BOSS? ; I-YOU-WE; PERVERTED AUTHORITY.
Just to whet your interest he says, "This means that they were viewed to be gifted leaders by others and were thus appointed by the Holy Spirit and then recognized by the people. So that, even when the writer of Hebrews admonishes believers to follow the leadership of elders, it uses the Greek language that according to W.E. Vine, means [peitho] "to persuade, to win over, in the Passive and Middle Voices which indicates one voluntarily does so with an eye on their [The elders] character and life. [Hebrews 13:17]"